The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize