just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize