The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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