before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
