that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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