He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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