I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
