Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
