I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
