how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
