My brain says no but my pants say off.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
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Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
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And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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