It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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