P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize