Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize