My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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