so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
