apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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