she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
be right there i have to get my cape
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
