I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
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If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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