its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize