the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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