I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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