ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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