Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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