they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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