I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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