Jerry, you need to find god
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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