why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize