I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
