I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
