Life is so much better after having sex.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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