two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
