Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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