I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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