and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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