I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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