is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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