when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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