Please, let me fuck your mom
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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