it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
