Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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