he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I can't turn off my feet"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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