did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
