So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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