apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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