the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
