she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
