so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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