i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
