I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
