shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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