just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize