YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
