isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
