Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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