Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
