Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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