I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
