Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she woke up with a sticky ear
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
