There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
well you can't waste a boner
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
