I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
