You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
